Frequently Asked Questions
How does it work?
As your coach my role is to :
- Provide a safe, supportive space free of judgment.
- Be a sounding board.
- Address barriers.
- Explore underlying perspectives.
- Empower you to move forward.
- Provide structures for celebration and accountability.
As the client your role is to:
- Take responsibility.
- Open your mind.
- Commit to yourself.
- Do the work.
Together we will:
- Talk openly about whatever is on your mind.
- Find clarity, get energized and see things from new perspectives.
- Make the connections between your authentic self and your public self.
- Create strategies for self-care that support you in bringing your best to everything you do.
- Cultivate the confidence to stay positive in the face of negative feedback.
Down to the nitty gritty....
- All sessions are conducted over the phone (or Skype if you're long distance to Toronto).
- Sessions are charged monthly for four weekly sessions per month.
- The initial trial session is free.
- Fees include up to two emails per week.
What is gender diverse parenting?
I tend to go back and forth between the terms gender neutral parenting and gender diverse parenting. They both mean the same thing, however when people hear the term gender neutral parenting they often imagine that you are trying to raise a genderless child. Of course that is not the goal or the intention of gender neutral parenting, gender is a part of who we are and it would be overly simplistic to imagine that you could just raise a child to have no gender. Rather, gender neutral/diverse parenting is about presenting all options without bias. This means that any child, regardless of sex, can play with dolls or trucks, toy kitchens or building blocks. Gender diverse parenting is about parenting the individual child rather than focusing on that child's presumed gender and giving them the opportunity to become whoever they choose to be.
What do you mean by feminist and queer parenting?
Feminist parenting is about parenting through a feminist lens. This often includes gender diverse parenting but is not limited to it. Other elements of feminist parenting include raising kids to be aware of the nature of systemic oppression, what it means to hold privilege, and teaching kids to think critically about the media they consume. Queer parenting usually involves raising kids to be aware of issues around gender, sexuality and otherness, it is often an aspect of feminist parenting.
What is radical self-care?
"Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare." ~ Audre Lorde
Self-care is a challenge for people in all walks of life but for those who are fighting to make change it can feel like any act of self-care is time away from the cause. There may be people depending on you, expecting you to give everything to your social justice work. There can even be an unspoken belief that taking time out for self-care is an act of selfishness that detracts from the notion of working for the common good. But as Anais Nin said:
"It is only in the private world that we can learn to alchemize the ugly, the terrible, the horrors of war, the evils and cruelties of man, into a new kind of human being. I do not say turn away or escape. We cannot turn away from social history, because it is necessary to maintain our responsibilities to society, but we need to create a centre of strength and resistance to disappointments and failures in outward events."
If we do not take good care of ourselves it is not only the individual who suffers from lack of care, it is the collective that also suffers because we are unable to bring all of our strength and power to the work at hand. But in the face of so many pressures to give it all to the cause it is an act of great strength, a radical act, to make the necessary space in your life for that rejuvenation.
With coaching we can:
- Identify stressors.
- Assess commitments to determine if there is anything that can be reshuffled or let go.
- Craft an individualized plan for self-care while providing support and accountability for putting it into action.
- Cultivate a perspective that prioritizes self-care and compassion.
How is this different from therapy?
Internal Life Coaching is not therapy. Although the focus of our work is on your internal life and self-awareness it is grounded in the present and looking to the future. One commonly used metaphor is that a life coach is an architect, helping you to design and build your life for the present and the future, while a therapist is more like an archaeologist, digging through the past to unearth the answers for the present.
Can I try it out?
Yes! Before committing to paid sessions we will set up a free trial session so that you can get a sense of what coaching is about, ask any questions you may have and get a feel for me and my approach.
What is with that gremlin logo?
Everyone is familiar with that voice of self-doubt that holds us back. For some it is a whisper and for others it is a constant narrative that keeps us from recognizing our own worth and fully embracing life. This voice is commonly referred to as the gremlin. A while back I wrote this blog post about my own self-doubts and entitled it "Oh that? That's my gremlin, I call her Lucille". My logo is Lucille, a visible manifestation of my own self-doubts turned around and made into a mascot of self-empowerment.